Dear other half,
I am having so much fun watching you achieve things. You keep doing and doing and doing more, looking for that satisfaction and happiness that you think will come. But it’s oh so temporary, isn’t it? I just love that roller coaster ride of emotions you go through. Happy and high for a bit, and then poof! It’s gone and you’re down craving that next accomplishment.
It’s so much fun watching you actually identify with your accomplishments and depend on them to make you happy!
Now I’m going to make the game even more exciting.
I’m not even going to let you be happy at an accomplishment until someone else praises you for it. Then I’m going to let you be happy, but only for a moment, because to spur you on for the next round of fun, I’m going to fill you with doubt and make you think that you really didn’t deserve it. I’m going to make you think all your accomplishments were a fluke; that next time you’ll fail and show them who you really are: a fraud.
More recently I made sure you never took your talents as far as you could. You created something that the world could benefit by, but you kept it to yourself and never really let people know about it. That was me again, using fear and doubt to make you stop just before you really started acting from the Light.
Oh, is this fun! If I have my way, you’ll never really believe you’re good enough. On the outside you’ll look great, but inside you’ll be a mess. You’ll never really live from the inside because you’ll be afraid of all the doubts and fears you think are there. You’ll focus more and more on the outer layer of achieving in order to impress people and get a temporary high from their praise. You’ll be a slave to accomplishment! My slave! You’ll be a shell that’s constantly in danger of cracking.
As for me, I’ll continue having fun as long as you don’t figure out that it’s me who is really the fraud!
Your ever-doubting, ever-fearing Ego